Dear Lynn
I have a few different posts in my head but what wants to come out is that this week is a bad one for me.
Two years ago - unbeknownst to me - the father of my children was away with another woman - and saying things to her that I thought he had only ever said to me.
Last year I was distracted by trips overseas from thinking about this week in time too much.
This year I am here. And trying desperately not to turn this week into some kind of weird anniversary.
I never saw this in my future 20 years ago. Nor ten, nor five years ago.
I have moved on from the obsessed by, needing to know details, wreck of a woman I was last year.
I just wasn't expecting to feel quite so agonised right now. We continue to make plans for our future - and I am generally more realistic about life this time round.
I have rung my psychologist to get an urgent appointment. I need to know that it is OK to forge a fresh life with someone I may never completely trust again.
Love
Mary
Another friend of mine went through a similar thing. She says it changed her husband into her 'second' husband if that makes sense, the husband you have after you've been badly hurt and maybe lost your fresh-faced love, but with whom you still have deep love and history and closeness.
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xoxoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, friend.
Definitely a good reason to feel like crap, Mary. Sending you lots of love,
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PS If you ever need a bbq chicken....
Thinking of you this week.
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Big hugs, Honey xxx
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it helps ... but you are allowed to feel this way. It is a logical and normal reaction to the hurt. Only when you can accept that, will the pain lessen and move on.
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